Waiting

I have been waiting to hear from the job applications I made. These days are really stressful days and hours for me. I started to feel depreciated. Actually, I am doing it to myself, as anyone can guess.

It is really hard to keep myself busy lately. To keep my mind occupied, I invent all sorts of errands and chores. When they are finished, I redo some of them to prolong the time-killing activity. Sometimes, I tire myself so much that I get exhausted.

I read books, magazines, take walks, go to shopping, to movies and everything but I cannot keep my mind away from the fact that I am jobless and there are no prospects on the horizon at all. I was so confident a couple of months ago that I would find a position in a matter of weeks, now, after months passed, I started to lose my confidence and got worried about this situation.

I decided to keep a diary of my jobless days in order not to lose my mind and self esteem. Otherwise, it is so lonely and self-damaging.

Today's one job-search related news would be a bad one. I received an e-mail informing me that someone else had been chosen for the position. As corny as it may sound, of course I thought that I was over qualified which makes me feel better rather than being considered to be under qualified piece of junk.