Warm winter

I applied for two positions this week. I hope I get at least an answer from them. The word on the street is that those vacancies are already taken but due to the labor regulations companies have to announce those openings anyway. I don't know actually, I don't have any insider knowledge but only what my friends say about the situation.

The weather here is unnaturally warm and sunny. I have one not listened This American Life podcast. That gives me a an hour long walk around the neighborhood. The water shortage is in effect. The municipality was cutting the water as a result. I could not even wash my face when I got up. I still feel dirty and not waken up fully.

I received e-mails from my friends living overseas. That's nice because lately I am criticizing myself how difficult I am when it comes to relations. I guess I am always angry at someone else. I am always angry without any good reasons frankly. I am trying to get control of it but being a jobless does not help much. I don't know. I was worse though before I got married. Now I mellowed a bit. However, I believe and sense that I can do better. I can quit being a tight ass prick or dumb my stupid insecurities as soon as possible. Almost everything scares me lately. For that reason I can't even get a sound sleep. Usually, I fall a sleep quickly and then wake up 10 - 20 minutes later for good. I have to try really hard to go back to sleep again. That tires the hell out of me.

I don't know. I am stuck. I can not move forward. I gotta do something to fix it.